Billiards baby

Hogwarts had pool tables, right? 😐

This week went by soo fast. I feel like it was Calvin and Susie's birthday just last week and it has definitely been longer than that 😂 Probably because I'm still editing through the footage. So much to doooo so little tiiime. I find it so uncomfortable when I feel like I'm at a stand still in life. I really need reason to do things or they won't get done, and lately I feel like I'm just sitting on the floor singing to myself as the world goes by. Hoping that one day this very confusing time in my life will not feel like I'm being taken for a sucker. Where on one hand I am so proud of myself and what I have managed to achieve this past year. I feel somewhat successful, more than i ever have been. And I have connected with so many beautiful people out there in the world, who are the only thing outside of myself to help me know that this is all even real. Because on the other hand nothing has changed. I am still living paycheck to paycheck, wearing clothes I had back in college, doing money math about groceries, with angry people yelling at each other all around me, while I'm still far away from my family. It doesn't make sense and it's physically discomforting. This kind of work and success with a platform that won't acknowledge it, is really taking a toll on my mental health. Just chip chippin' away at it. By saying nothing at all every day they are saying I'm not good enough. Every day I wake up and I'm still not good enough. I wasn't going to say anything until it was solved, but my facebook account is being looked at by technicians. Which usually means OMG FINALLY YOU GUYS! But, this was last tuesday. they did say "it should take 24-48 hours, or in rare cases up to 1-2 weeks". it has been ten days now. And That excitement from last week has depleted again. I can't let myself get excited about this, because if I do, and I don't get the answer I'm hoping for, I'm be absolutely gutted. In all honesty Im almost certain that this is a good thing. But I'm really fighting with how lI feel about how long they are taking now... The second I find out ANYthing I will let you all know ❤️❤️❤️ cross your fingers and toes and toe beans 🤞

Love you all from the bottom of my heart. You are why I do this. ❤️❤️❤️

Alex, Susie, and Calvin